Holiday

Christmas time is a favorite time of year for a lot of people. There's something different about this holiday season in particular though. For many years my brother and sister have had a significant other...with whom they have joined my family for Christmas! It's been a wonderful thing but I find myself jealous...constantly jealous that they've had someone that knows them, loves them, cares for them in a very different way then family. I know that jealousy is foolish but I couldn't help how I felt. And now after all of these years of being lonely and thinking there was nobody out there for me...I have a person of my very own.

I finally have realized that all these years I have been getting in my own way. I've known him for years and never considered giving him a real chance because I was SO terrified of the thought. I've somehow convinced myself that I didn't deserve the good things most of my friends have. I would do things to purposely distance myself and eventually it paid of because him and I stopped speaking all together.

But something happened and here we are...together.

So this Christmas it's my turn to add someone to the family traditions. It feels great and I didn't know I would ever be this happy or feel this loved.